Yeah, I'm moping and sad. I don't want this blog or my life to become a deathwatch for Dottie, but hearing the words sort of solidified what I already knew and didn't want to think about. But now it's THERE, always in the back of my mind, relentless and inescapable. And I'm grieving for a dog that isn't dead and may not be dead for some time-or may be dead tomorrow.
And, I'm not paying attention to my other dogs like I should. I can only hold Dottie, only care for Dottie, because we have so little time left. The pain sometimes just wells up, even when I'm away from the house and my eyes tear up, sometimes I even sob.
I'm sort of embarrassed to report this behavior, but maybe it will help someone who is going through the same thing. You are not alone. We all crack up at times.